By Katie Palitto | Finding Adam Finding Eve Ministry
Hey, I see you.
You downloaded the app with hope. Maybe even excitement. And now? Opening it feels like a chore you keep putting off.
You’re not lazy. You’re not too picky. You might just be burnt out.
After fifteen years of mentoring Catholic singles, I’ve learned to recognize the signs. Here are seven that tell me someone needs a break—not a pep talk.
1. Opening the App Feels Physically Heavy
Your thumb hovers over the icon, and something in your body resists. That’s not laziness. That’s your nervous system telling you something.
2. Cynicism Has Replaced Hope
“They’re all the same anyway.” “No one serious is on these apps.” If your inner monologue sounds like this, burnout is talking.
Hope is a theological virtue (CCC 1817). When it’s gone from your dating life, that’s a spiritual signal worth noticing.
3. You’re Going Through the Motions
Swipe. Match. Generic message. Repeat. You’re not actually engaged anymore—you’re performing a ritual that lost its meaning.
4. Rejection Doesn’t Sting—But Neither Does Anything Else
Emotional numbness isn’t strength. It’s a sign you’ve been hurt so many times that you’ve shut down to protect yourself.
5. You Feel Worse About Yourself Than Before
Dating apps were supposed to expand your options. Instead, they’ve shrunk your sense of worth. That’s backwards—and it’s a clear sign something needs to change.
6. You’ve Deleted and Re-Downloaded Multiple Times
The dramatic “I’m done!” followed by the quiet re-install a month later. Sound familiar? That cycle is exhausting, and it’s not sustainable.
7. Your Prayer Life Has Become Anxiety About Dating
When every rosary is consumed by relationship anxiety, when you can’t bring your heart to God without spiraling—dating has become an idol, and your soul is tired.
Here’s what I want you to know: These signs aren’t failures. They’re invitations.
Your burnout is telling you something. Maybe it’s time for a pause. Maybe you need to address some patterns before diving back in. Maybe you need to remember that your worth isn’t measured in matches.
The Church teaches that we are made in the image of God (CCC 1700). That dignity doesn’t fluctuate based on your dating success.
Practical Katie’s Insights
If you recognized yourself in three or more of these signs, give yourself permission to step back. Not forever—just strategically.
Your homework: Delete the apps for one week. Just one. See how it feels. Notice what comes up when you’re not constantly checking.
You’re not giving up. You’re taking care of yourself so you can show up whole when the right person comes along.
You’ve got this. And God’s got you.
Katie Palitto is co-founder of Finding Adam Finding Eve ministry. Learn more at gameof.love.
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