By Katie Palitto | Finding Adam Finding Eve Ministry

Let me ask you something.

When was the last time you finished a swiping session and felt better about yourself?

I’m guessing it’s been a while.

There’s a reason dating apps leave us drained in a way that goes deeper than tired eyes and sore thumbs. The exhaustion isn’t just physical—it’s spiritual.

The Problem Isn’t Your Stamina

Dating apps are designed to keep you engaged. Not married. Not fulfilled. Engaged with the app.

Every match triggers a tiny dopamine hit. Every notification pulls you back. The variable reward schedule—sometimes you match, sometimes you don’t—is borrowed directly from slot machine psychology.

But here’s what the apps don’t tell you: This cycle trains your brain to see people as products to evaluate, not persons to encounter.

St. John Paul II warned us about this in Theology of the Body. The opposite of love isn’t hate—it’s use. When we reduce human beings to profiles to be swiped, we’re practicing a habit that’s the exact opposite of authentic love.

No wonder your soul is tired.

The Hidden Spiritual Cost

Every time you swipe left on someone, you make a snap judgment. Hundreds of times per session. That’s hundreds of tiny decisions that something (or someone) isn’t good enough.

That habit doesn’t stay on the app. It seeps into how you see yourself and others in real life.

And then there’s the rejection accumulation. Every person who doesn’t swipe right. Every conversation that fizzles. Every first date that goes nowhere. Individually, these are small disappointments. But they add up into a backpack of unprocessed hurt that makes it harder and harder to show up with genuine openness.

The Church teaches that every person has inherent dignity because we’re made in God’s image (CCC 1700). But when you’ve been reduced to a photo and a bio hundreds of times, that theological truth starts to feel abstract.

What Your Exhaustion Is Telling You

Your soul isn’t designed for infinite choice. We’re made for communion—deep, authentic connection with a few, not shallow evaluation of many.

The exhaustion you’re feeling isn’t weakness. It’s wisdom. It’s your heart telling you that this tool, used this way, isn’t serving your flourishing.

That doesn’t mean apps can’t work. It means they need boundaries. Time limits. Regular breaks. And a life full enough that the app is a supplement, not a substitute.

Practical Katie’s Insights

If swiping is draining you, honor that signal instead of pushing through.

Your homework this week: Set a timer for 15 minutes before you open any dating app. When it goes off, close the app—no matter what. See how it changes your experience.

Your soul wasn’t made for endless scrolling. It was made for love.

Protect it accordingly.

Katie Palitto is co-founder of Finding Adam Finding Eve ministry. Learn more at gameof.love.

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