“I’ll figure it out on my own.” How many years have you been saying that? How many dating disasters, confusing conversations, and broken hearts have you processed alone in your bedroom, convinced that if you just think about it hard enough, pray about it long enough, or read one more relationship book, you’ll crack the code? Let me ask you something harder: When was the last time you actually asked someone to set you up? ...
Can we be honest for a minute? If you’re reading this, I’m guessing you’ve either asked the question “So what are we?” or you’ve been desperately avoiding it. Maybe you’ve been dating someone for months—or even years—and you’re still introducing them as your “friend.” Maybe you’re the one who gets uncomfortable when conversations turn toward the future. Or maybe you’re on the receiving end, wondering why the person you care about seems allergic to defining what you have together. ...
Let’s talk about what no one wants to admit: dating is making people depressed. I see it every week in my coaching practice. Smart, faithful Catholics who start the dating journey with hope and end up in therapy. Women who’ve been on dozens of first dates but never a third. Men who get excited about someone, only to be ghosted after what felt like a great connection. The anxiety kicks in around Thursday—Will he text me this weekend? The depression settles in by Sunday—What’s wrong with me? ...
Let me ask you something. When was the last time you witnessed a man confidently, respectfully pursuing a woman he was interested in? And when was the last time you saw a woman gracefully receiving that pursuit—neither chasing nor running, but allowing herself to be pursued? If you’re scratching your head, you’re not alone. Both Mike and I failed at marriage in our twenties, and looking back, part of the problem was that we had no idea what we were doing as man and woman. The culture had told us we were exactly the same, that gender was just a social construct, that anyone could do anything. Sounds progressive, right? ...
Let me ask you something. How many novenas have you prayed for a spouse? How many years have you been “doing everything right”—staying pure, serving faithfully at your parish, being the kind of person someone would be lucky to marry—only to watch everyone around you walk down the aisle while you’re still sitting in the pew alone? If you’re reading this, I already know you’ve probably wondered what you’re doing wrong. ...
Let me ask you something. How many items are on your mental checklist for a potential spouse? I’m talking about that running list in your head. You know—the one that starts reasonable. Catholic. Wants kids. Emotionally stable. But then it grows. Tall enough. Makes enough money. Loves hiking. Never been divorced. Has read Theology of the Body. Prefers traditional liturgy. Drinks coffee but not too much coffee. I know this list intimately because I used to have one too. ...
Another engagement post, and you’re happy for them… until you close the app. Then the questions start creeping in. Why does their love look so effortless? Why are they always dressed perfectly? When did I become the person who’s been single longer than they dated? Let me ask you something: When was the last time you saw a social media post about changing a diaper at 2 AM together? Or choosing to forgive each other after a fight about whose turn it was to take out the trash? ...
Let me ask you something: Have you ever found yourself repeating the same patterns in dating? Choosing the same type of person, ending relationships for the same reasons, feeling triggered in ways that make you think, “Where did that come from?” You’re not broken. You’re not crazy. You’re carrying invisible baggage. I recently worked with a woman—let’s call her Sarah—who had been dating faithfully for seven years. Smart, beautiful, devoted to her faith. But every relationship followed the same script: she’d fall hard for emotionally distant men, pour her heart into trying to “fix” them, then be devastated when they inevitably pulled away. ...
A subscriber-only exploration of what’s really going wrong Hey, I see you. You’re smart. You’re faithful. You’ve done the work—therapy, healing, growing closer to God. You show up to Mass on Sundays. You’ve probably read at least one book on discernment. Maybe you’ve even done a novena or three. And yet. Here you are, still swiping. Still going on first dates that lead nowhere. Still watching another engagement announcement pop up on your feed while you wonder what you’re doing wrong. ...