The Catholic Church requires that both parties be free to marry, that at least one be baptized Catholic, that the marriage be celebrated in proper canonical form (typically before a priest or deacon and two witnesses), and that the couple complete a marriage preparation program. These aren’t bureaucratic hoops – they’re the Church’s way of ensuring your marriage is valid, worthy, and set up to thrive.
The Deeper Story
I know the list of requirements can feel overwhelming, especially when you’re already navigating the emotional weight of getting engaged and planning a wedding. But each requirement exists for a real reason, and understanding them can actually deepen your appreciation for what you’re about to do.
Canon Law states that “Catholics who have not yet received the sacrament of confirmation are to receive it before they are admitted to marriage if it can be done without grave inconvenience. To receive the sacrament of marriage fruitfully, spouses are urged especially to approach the sacraments of penance and of the Most Holy Eucharist” (Canon 1065). Notice the language – “fruitfully.” The Church wants your marriage to bear fruit, and the sacraments are the soil that makes that possible.
Canon Law also makes clear that “even if only one party is Catholic, the marriage of Catholics is governed not only by divine law but also by canon law.” This means the Church’s requirements apply even in mixed marriages – and there are additional permissions needed in those cases, such as a dispensation from your bishop.
The Catechism teaches that “sacramental marriage is a liturgical act. It is therefore appropriate that it should be celebrated in the public liturgy of the Church; marriage introduces one into an ecclesial order, and creates rights and duties in the Church between the spouses and towards their children.” Your marriage isn’t just between the two of you. It’s an act of the Church – and the requirements reflect that reality.
What This Means for Your Dating Life
If you’re dating seriously, start learning the requirements now – not when you’re scrambling six months before a wedding. Contact your parish early. Most dioceses require six months to a year of preparation before the wedding date, and some requirements (like Confirmation or annulment proceedings) take time.
If you’re dating a non-Catholic, have an honest conversation about what the Church will require and what that means for both of you. These aren’t surprises you want to discover at the last minute.
Where to Go from Here
Make an appointment with your parish priest or deacon to learn exactly what your diocese requires. Do it early – even before you’re formally engaged if you’re discerning seriously. Knowing the path ahead removes anxiety and lets you focus on what matters most: preparing your hearts.