The Catholic Church teaches that remarriage after divorce is only possible if the first marriage has been declared null through the annulment process. This is because the Church holds that a valid sacramental marriage bond cannot be dissolved by any human authority – not even the Church herself. I know this teaching can feel severe, especially when you’re in pain. But it’s rooted in something beautiful: the belief that marriage is a real, unbreakable covenant, not just a contract that can be renegotiated.
The Deeper Story
The Church’s teaching on this is clear and consistent. “The Church maintains that a new union cannot be recognized as valid, if the first marriage was. If the divorced are remarried civilly, they find themselves in a situation that objectively contravenes God’s law. Consequently, they cannot receive Eucharistic communion as long as this situation persists” (CCC 1650).
I want to be honest with you: this teaching is one of the hardest for people to hear, especially when they’ve been through the agony of a broken marriage. But the Church says this not to punish but to protect the truth about what marriage is. If marriage is truly indissoluble – if the vow “until death do us part” means what it says – then the Church cannot simply look the other way when that vow still stands.
But here is the other side of that truth: the Church does not leave you stranded. As St. John Paul II wrote in Familiaris Consortio, the Church “will therefore make untiring efforts to put at their disposal her means of salvation.” If your first marriage was not valid – if something essential was missing on the day of consent – the annulment process exists precisely to establish that truth and to set you free to love again.
What This Means for Your Dating Life
If you are divorced and hoping to remarry, the annulment process is not optional – it’s the path forward. Begin it as soon as you’re ready. And if you’re currently in a civil remarriage without an annulment, know that the Church still loves you and wants you close. Talk to a priest about your situation. There are pastoral paths available, and the first step is simply an honest conversation.
Where to Go from Here
Don’t carry this alone. Whether you’re waiting for an annulment decision or trying to understand where you stand, reach out to your parish priest. The Church’s teaching is firm, but her pastoral heart is tender. She wants to help you find your way home.