Post-date evaluation is the practice of intentionally reflecting on a date through the lens of virtue, compatibility, and vocational discernment — not just whether you “had a good time.” It’s one of the most powerful habits you can build as a Catholic single, because it transforms dating from a series of emotional reactions into genuine discernment. Instead of asking “did I like them?” you learn to ask “did I observe virtue? Did I feel peace? Is this person oriented toward the same vocation I am?”
The Deeper Story
Here’s what usually happens after a date: you text your best friend a stream of consciousness, overthink every detail, and either idealize the person or write them off based on feelings alone. Sound familiar? There’s no shame in it — we’ve all been there. But feelings, while important, are only one component of who you are as a person.
The FAFE approach to post-date evaluation draws on the Catholic Christian Meta-Model of the Person to help you reflect on the whole experience — not just the emotional layer, but the rational, volitional, interpersonal, and spiritual layers too. Did this person show evidence of virtue? Were they honest, kind, patient, self-controlled? Did the conversation reveal shared values about faith, family, and vocation? Did you feel free to be yourself, or were you performing?
This is what it looks like to go slow, observe virtues and vices, and be transparent — the core FAFE dating principles in action. Love, as St. John Paul II taught, involves “a totally committed and fully responsible attitude of a person to a person.” Post-date evaluation is how you practice that responsibility before commitment, so that when commitment comes, it’s built on truth rather than infatuation.
What This Means for Your Dating Life
After your next date, take ten minutes before you text anyone. Open the Game of Love’s post-date evaluation and walk through the guided reflection. Ask yourself: did I see virtue? Did I feel peace or anxiety? Was this person curious about my faith, my family, my future? Did I notice any patterns — in them or in myself — that I’ve seen before?
Over time, this practice builds something invaluable: discernment muscle. You’ll start noticing things in real time that you used to miss entirely. And you’ll make better decisions — not because you’re cynical, but because you’re paying attention.
Where to Go from Here
Try your first post-date evaluation at gameof.love after your next date — or even reflect on a recent one. For more on building intentional dating habits, visit Finding Adam Finding Eve. Every good marriage started with someone willing to pay attention. That someone can be you.