If you’re single and lonely, Theology of the Body has something surprising to say to you: that ache you feel is not a sign that something is wrong with you. It’s a sign that something is profoundly right. You were made for communion — with God and with other persons — and the loneliness you feel is your heart telling you the truth about what you were designed for. TOB doesn’t minimize that ache. It honors it, names it, and shows you where it’s meant to lead.
The Deeper Story
John Paul II gave loneliness a theological name: Original Solitude. Before God created Eve, Adam was alone — not because something was broken, but because God wanted him to discover something essential first. In that solitude, Adam learned that he was different from every other creature. He was a person — capable of self-awareness, self-determination, and relationship with God. As John Paul II taught, “the meaning of original solitude… is based on experience of the existence obtained from the Creator” (TOB).
But God also said, “It is not good that the man should be alone” (Gen 2:18). And so solitude became the doorway to communion. John Paul II described this beautifully: “In the Bible narrative, solitude is the way that leads to that unity which, following Vatican II, we can define as communio personarum” (TOB). Loneliness is the pathway, not the destination. It teaches you who you are so that you can truly give yourself to another.
This is what secular culture gets wrong about loneliness. The world says: fill it. Swipe, scroll, settle — just make the ache stop. TOB says: listen to it. Your loneliness is an invitation to become the kind of person who can enter into authentic communion, whether in marriage, religious life, or deep Christian friendship.
What This Means for Your Dating Life
Stop treating your single season as a waiting room. It’s a formation ground. Use this time to grow in self-knowledge, to deepen your relationship with God, to invest in friendships that call you higher. When you do enter a relationship, you’ll bring a whole person to it — not a half-person desperately looking for completion.
And on the hard nights when loneliness hits, let it become a prayer. Tell God the truth: I ache for communion, and I trust that You know what You’re doing with me.
Where to Go from Here
Read our explainers on Original Solitude and Original Unity. Your loneliness has a name, a purpose, and a destination — and none of them end in emptiness. They end in love.