The four classical temperaments are sanguine, choleric, melancholic, and phlegmatic. They describe your natural way of reacting to the world – how you process emotions, make decisions, and connect with other people. In dating, your temperament shapes everything from how quickly you fall for someone to how you handle a difficult conversation after dinner.
The Deeper Story
This isn’t a modern personality quiz. The temperament framework has roots in ancient philosophy, and the Church’s spiritual directors have used it for centuries because it respects a fundamental truth: God made each of us with a distinct nature, and grace builds on that nature.
The sanguine is warm, enthusiastic, and energetic. They light up a room and make a first date feel effortless – but they can struggle with follow-through and depth. The choleric is driven, decisive, and natural in leadership. They pursue what they want with intensity – but they can steamroll a relationship before it has room to breathe. The melancholic is thoughtful, deep, and idealistic. They bring beauty and substance to love – but they can overthink every text and set impossibly high standards. The phlegmatic is steady, peaceful, and loyal. They bring calm to chaos – but they can avoid necessary conflict and struggle to initiate.
As we teach at FAFE, the four classical temperaments each approach dating differently, struggle with different challenges, and need different strategies for success. None is better or worse. Each is a gift – and each needs virtue to flourish.
What This Means for Your Dating Life
Start by getting honest about which temperament sounds most like you. Not the one you wish you were – the one that actually shows up on a Tuesday night when you’re tired and someone asks you a hard question. Your temperament is not an excuse for bad behavior, but it is a lens for self-understanding. When you know your natural tendencies, you can work with your nature instead of against it – and extend the same grace to the person sitting across the table from you.
Where to Go from Here
Take the temperament assessment at gameof.love and sit with the results. Ask the Holy Spirit to show you how your temperament is a gift – and where it needs the refining work of virtue. Self-knowledge is where real love begins.