The best way to discover your temperament is a combination of honest self-reflection, feedback from people who know you well, and a reliable assessment tool. Most people have a primary temperament and a secondary one, and they show up most clearly not when life is easy but when you’re under stress, in conflict, or falling in love.
The Deeper Story
Self-knowledge has always been central to the spiritual life. The Church’s spiritual directors have used temperament as a tool for growth for centuries, because understanding your nature is the foundation for cooperating with grace. You cannot grow in virtue if you don’t know where your specific struggles are.
Start with these questions – and answer them honestly, not aspirationally. How do you react when someone cancels plans last minute? When a relationship gets serious, do you lean in or pull back? Do you tend to say too much or too little in conflict? After a first date, are you replaying every word or already planning the next adventure? Do you need time alone to recharge, or does solitude make you restless?
At FAFE, we guide people through deeper self-reflection: Which temperament most describes you? What are your dating struggles as a result of your temperament? What strategies do you need to implement? What temperament or temperaments might complement you well in a spouse? These are not abstract exercises. They are the kind of questions that, when answered honestly, can finally explain why dating has felt so hard – and show you a path forward that works with your God-given nature.
The Game of Love temperament assessment is designed for exactly this. It integrates the classical temperament tradition with the Catholic Christian Meta-Model of the Person, so you’re not just getting a label – you’re getting insight that connects to the full picture of who you are.
What This Means for Your Dating Life
Take the assessment, but don’t stop there. Sit with your results and ask a close friend or family member: “Does this sound like me?” Sometimes we have blind spots about our own temperament, especially the parts we wish were different. The goal is not to put yourself in a box. The goal is to understand why you do what you do so you can date with clarity, patience, and self-compassion.
Where to Go from Here
Take the free temperament assessment at gameof.love. Then bring what you learn to your next conversation with a mentor, spiritual director, or trusted friend. Knowing yourself is not vanity – it is the beginning of real freedom.