The pairings that tend to work well are complementary ones: choleric with phlegmatic, sanguine with melancholic. These combinations balance each other’s strengths and weaknesses naturally. But compatibility is never a formula. Two people of any temperament combination can build a holy marriage if they bring self-awareness, virtue, and shared faith to the table.
The Deeper Story
Complementary pairings work because they create balance. The choleric brings drive and initiative; the phlegmatic brings calm and peace. The sanguine brings joy and optimism; the melancholic brings depth and thoughtfulness. In each case, one person’s natural strength fills in where the other might struggle, and both are stretched to grow in ways they wouldn’t on their own.
Similar pairings – two cholerics, two melancholics – can also work, but they require more intentional effort. Two cholerics may clash over leadership. Two melancholics may spiral into overthinking together. Two sanguines may have fun but struggle to build depth. Two phlegmatics may be peaceful but find it hard to make decisions or initiate difficult conversations. These are not dealbreakers. They are growth edges.
The Catholic tradition teaches that married love is perfected by grace and oriented toward mutual holiness. As the Catechism says, the grace of the sacrament of Matrimony is intended to perfect the couple’s love and strengthen their indissoluble unity. That grace works with every temperament combination – not just the “ideal” ones.
What matters most is not your pairing on paper. It is whether you have self-awareness about your temperament and its impact, whether you are working on your weaknesses, whether your strengths genuinely balance each other, and whether you share the same non-negotiable values about faith, family, and life.
What This Means for Your Dating Life
Don’t rule someone out because they’re the “wrong” temperament, and don’t pursue someone just because they’re the “right” one. Instead, pay attention to how you feel around them. Does this person bring out your best self? Do you bring out theirs? Where there’s tension, is it the productive kind that stretches you toward virtue, or the destructive kind that leaves you diminished? Those questions will tell you far more than any compatibility chart.
Where to Go from Here
Take the temperament assessment at gameof.love and learn your own type first. Then revisit past relationships through the lens of complementarity. The patterns you see might surprise you – and they will absolutely prepare you for what’s next.