What NOT to do if you actually want to find lasting love.
Communication Fails
How Not to Date #1: Text “you up?” at 11 PM and wonder why she thinks you’re not serious.
How Not to Date #2: Spend the whole date talking about yourself, then complain there was “no connection.”
How Not to Date #3: Reply to every message with one word and expect them to carry the conversation.
How Not to Date #4: Wait three days to text back because you read it in a dating book from 2004.
How Not to Date #5: Ghost someone after three dates because a hard conversation felt too awkward.
App Disasters
How Not to Date #6: Swipe for three hours, match with no one, then tell yourself dating is impossible.
How Not to Date #7: Use photos from five years and thirty pounds ago, then act surprised when the date goes cold.
How Not to Date #8: Copy-paste the same opener to fifty people and wonder why no one responds.
How Not to Date #9: Match with someone, never message them, then complain the apps don’t work.
How Not to Date #10: Keep swiping while you’re on a date with someone else.
First Date Fails
How Not to Date #11: Show up late with no text and act like it’s not a big deal.
How Not to Date #12: Spend the date staring at your phone between conversations.
How Not to Date #13: Interrogate them like a job interview instead of having an actual conversation.
How Not to Date #14: Talk about your ex for twenty minutes and call it “being honest.”
How Not to Date #15: Complain about how terrible dating is while you’re literally on a date.
Emotional Unavailability
How Not to Date #16: Keep dating someone you’re not interested in because you’re afraid to be alone.
How Not to Date #17: Date three people at once and give none of them your real attention.
How Not to Date #18: Say you want a relationship while avoiding anything that feels like commitment.
How Not to Date #19: Keep your options open so long that all your options leave.
How Not to Date #20: Refuse to define the relationship after six months because “labels are limiting.”
Self-Sabotage
How Not to Date #21: Find one flaw and use it as an excuse to end something good.
How Not to Date #22: Push away anyone who gets close, then wonder why you’re always alone.
How Not to Date #23: Decide they’re “too nice” and go back to chasing unavailable people.
How Not to Date #24: Convince yourself you don’t need anyone, then cry about being lonely.
How Not to Date #25: Pick fights to test if they’ll stay, then act hurt when they don’t.
Unrealistic Expectations
How Not to Date #26: Reject everyone who doesn’t give you instant butterflies.
How Not to Date #27: Compare every real person to the fantasy spouse you’ve built in your head.
How Not to Date #28: Expect them to read your mind instead of actually communicating.
How Not to Date #29: Wait for the “perfect moment” to ask someone out until it never comes.
How Not to Date #30: Demand they meet your 47-point checklist before agreeing to coffee.
Playing Games
How Not to Date #31: Act less interested than you are so you don’t seem “desperate.”
How Not to Date #32: Make them jealous on purpose to see if they really care.
How Not to Date #33: Say “I’m fine” when you’re not, then get mad when they believe you.
How Not to Date #34: Keep score of who texted last and refuse to double-text on principle.
How Not to Date #35: Pretend to be someone you’re not, then wonder why they don’t like the real you.
Boundaries & Respect
How Not to Date #36: Ignore every red flag because they’re attractive.
How Not to Date #37: Pressure someone physically and call it “chemistry.”
How Not to Date #38: Keep pursuing after they’ve clearly said no.
How Not to Date #39: Trash-talk your date to your friends before you’ve even given them a chance.
How Not to Date #40: Expect them to fix your loneliness instead of dealing with it yourself.
Avoidance Tactics
How Not to Date #41: Say you’re “too busy to date” while binge-watching Netflix every night.
How Not to Date #42: Blame the apps, the culture, and the opposite sex instead of examining yourself.
How Not to Date #43: Pray for a spouse but never leave your apartment.
How Not to Date #44: Tell yourself “it’ll happen when it happens” while doing absolutely nothing.
How Not to Date #45: Use “I’m working on myself” as a permanent excuse to avoid vulnerability.
Relationship Killers
How Not to Date #46: Stop putting in effort the moment they commit to you.
How Not to Date #47: Assume the worst about everything they say and do.
How Not to Date #48: Bring up every past mistake during every new argument.
How Not to Date #49: Expect them to complete you instead of complement you.
How Not to Date #50: Treat dating like a competition to win instead of a person to know.
Now you know what NOT to do. Go do the opposite.
— Katie Palitto
Catholic Relationship Coach | Game of Love