Theology of Dating

Can we be honest for a minute? Most of us were never taught how to date. We were taught algebra, apologetics, maybe even some Theology of the Body if we were lucky. But nobody sat us down and said, “Here’s how to prepare your heart for the most important covenant you’ll ever make.” And then we wonder why so many marriages struggle. Both Mike and I failed at marriage in our twenties. We didn’t include God, we weren’t formed well, and we ignored the wisdom of those who loved us. We thought love alone would be enough. It wasn’t. And the painful truth we discovered afterward is that our dating lives had set us up for exactly the marriages we got–shallow roots produce shallow trees. ...

Let me ask you something. When was the last time you deleted a dating app while getting to know someone? Not deactivated. Deleted. If that question made your stomach clench, stay with me. Because the way you answer it reveals more about your readiness for marriage than any compatibility quiz ever could. The Backup Option Generation We live in a culture that treats romantic options like insurance policies. Keep swiping, just in case. Don’t close doors. Hedge your bets. And I get it–putting all your emotional eggs in one basket feels terrifying when baskets have broken before. ...

Can we be honest for a minute? Some of you aren’t dating freely. You’re dating out of pressure. Maybe it’s the family group chat where every holiday ends with “So… anyone special?” Maybe it’s the biological clock ticking so loudly you can’t think straight. Maybe it’s the fear that if you don’t pick someone now, there won’t be anyone left. Or maybe you’re so afraid of making the wrong choice that you can’t make any choice at all. ...

Let me tell you about the most awkward first date question in Catholic dating. “So… how many kids do you want?” It usually shows up somewhere between the appetizer and the entree, delivered with the casual intensity of someone who’s been coached to “get the important stuff out early.” And honestly? I appreciate the intention. But if that’s the depth of your fruitfulness conversation, you’re missing the point entirely. Because fruitfulness isn’t just about babies. It’s about how you love. ...

If you’re reading this, I already know something about you. You’ve probably shown up to at least one date as a carefully edited version of yourself. You know the version I mean. The one who laughs a little brighter, whose life sounds a little more put-together, whose past is a little more polished. The version who never mentions the messy divorce in the family, the anxiety you manage, or the fact that you spent last Saturday crying on your kitchen floor because loneliness hit harder than usual. ...